LIVING LIFE AS A YOUTH (3 out of 3): “Heartbeats”

“Dear God, will someone ever love me for being me?” Way back as a teenager, falling in love felt like my real-deal pursuit. My heart beat for the thrill of romance, which I believed would bring me closer to God. I had always longed for a love that would sustain me, just like my grandparents’ kind of marriage. Perhaps those were my constant prayers before because I thought I would find comfort in having a companion beside me.

During the Feast of Jesus the Divine Master on October 27, 2024, the calm and silent ambiance of the convent and chapel captured my heart. In a conversation about life with Sister Dianne, I discovered the beauty of a life devoted to God inside the convent. I felt the peace of being single and committed to Him alone. I learned there are countless prayers and topics worth discussing with God. I realized that love can be found in many forms and ways—it doesn’t always have to be romantic!

As I wandered around the convent, the gentle breeze passed through me, while the sun’s warm gaze wrapped around my brown skin. Leaves whispered softly, and birds sang and chirped freely. In that moment, I felt my heart beating again—I was enchanted. I fell in love with the idea of being free from intimate commitments and simply enjoying life as a young adult. I get to travel to different places without anyone worrying about me, except for my mom and dad. I get to wear what I want without feeling self-conscious. I get to talk to whomever I choose. I discovered love in its various aspects.

Within the convent, everything was beautiful in its own unique way. I felt young and free again. Pope Francis once said, “Christus Vivit!” This reminded me that I am loved even before my heart began to beat. In everything I do, as I serve Him with joy and grace, He is with me and by my side. I am, and will always be, young and renewed by Him as my greatest reward. I am a child in front of our God, and just like a child, I am loved.

“We love because He first loved us,” according to 1 John 4:19. The love I had longed for—one that would sustain and accompany me through thick and thin—has already been proclaimed in Psalm 55:22: “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.”

Living life as a youth, yes, I still dream of romantic love, in the right time and place. However, if it means finding a companion for my journey as a youth, I now know God’s love is more than enough. Enjoying life as a youth is such a priceless memory to treasure. All my life, I worried whether someone would ever love me, but now I’ve found myself loved and enchanted by God’s beauty.

Thank you, PDDM Sisters and Sister Dianne, for inviting me and the San Pablo Youth Apostolate! I will forever treasure this memory. (Sophia Beatrice V. Sison | San Pablo Youth Apostolate)