Election Surveys

Presidential elections will be on May 2028. Today some survey companies are already posturing to the Political Parties who have 2028 Presidential candidates. Imaginative talk between political party national chairman and survey firm chief.

Q. How much will the survey cost?
Answer: Money is not important for us. We believe in your political platforms and programs. We know your party will have a gigantic waterfall win from President to local officials. We want to share in your dreams and help the nation become number one in southeast Asia. We hope that when your party wins, all Government contracts for surveys, researches, studies will go to us. We will put all our time and talents at your command.

Q. Really?
A. Without nobody knowing it, we made surveys the last two months at our expense. The results are unbelievable. All your opponents have very great chances of losing.

Q. This is a blanket receipt.
A. Just sign and we fill up the amount later. After winning, please remember to give us a Bonus equals the money we will charge for our services. We trust you. You as national chairman and your political party are the only hopes of our nation because you stand for honesty patience and competence. Please sign the receipt.

Q. What services can you offer?
A. Positive and Negative Promos.

Q. What is positive?
A. With your money we will fill all radio, TV, newspaper, social media, about the fantastic qualities of goodness and overflowing charism of your, oops, Our Presidential Candidate.

Q. Where will you get these ideas?
A. That’s our Job. We will build him up even his family won’t recognize him.

Q. You can do that?
A. Trust me.

Q. How?
A. In 1934, Germany’s Nazi Press Secretary Goebbels in carrying out Hitler’s order to destroy Jews, said repeat the same lies for months and the public will believe the lies as the truth.

Q. What is Negative Attack?
A. The same format, TV, radio, papers, social media. But here we focus on the bad evil, monstrous habit, traits of all our opponents even if some are partly unverified or slightly exaggerated, or mildly false.

Q. Is that fair and honest?
A. Morality is not the point. We are dealing with the fate of our beloved nation so we must do everything to save her. Victory at all cost. The end justifies the means. All is fair in love and war. Do what your political enemies will do to you but do it first.

Q. What else?
A. For our special favored clients, for a little overmodest fee, we will solve, take care of damage control and crisis management problems.

Q. What’s that?
A. If our opponents throw to the public the dirt, defects, mistakes of our candidate, we raise the ante by exposing to the world the dirt of our opponents, then sanitize and clean up the mess by stressing that our opponents are panicking and using black propaganda. We will throw overflowing counter changes so the issues will be so darkly cloudy that no one will know what is true.

Q. I like that.
A. Thank you, sir, for signing the black receipt for a job order.