Alaga ni Perla

They say, motherhood starts the moment you find out you are pregnant, but they never tell you when it ends, or how it’s done. Does it end when your child finishes college, when they get married, or when they become parents themselves? Should you be with them 24/7? Should you always tell them what to do?

Nobody prepares you for it. Nobody really tells you when it’s your husband who needs the motherly care you expect to only give to your child. When it comes to motherhood, Mami Pearl is an expert. At 79, she didn’t only take care of her children and grandchildren. She also took care of her husband. 33 years into the marriage, a life-altering event shook their world. Her husband, Daboy, had a stroke. Daboy became bedridden. He can’t walk, talk, or even stand up. They tried physical therapy, but it didn’t work.

At that time, two of their children had their own families, one was working, and one was a fresh graduate. Who was going to take care of their children, or who was going to provide for them was not the problem. It was how will they be able to take care of Daboy. It was a big adjustment for everyone, but nothing compares to the adjustment that Mami Pearl had gone through.

Taking care of a child and taking care of a sick person were two different things. But, being the superwoman that she is- Mami Pearl aced both like a pro! As the sole caregiver, Mami Pearl’s days are filled with a lot of responsibilities, from administering medications to assisting with daily activities such as bathing, feeding, and even changing his diapers. Despite the physical and emotional toll, she tackles each task with grace and unwavering devotion.

This brought out another version of motherhood for her.

While being the caregiver of her husband, she also became the second mom of her grandchildren. She always makes sure that they are full of love and full of the hearty meals she cooks. Yes, she is not just good at taking care of people. She also is a good cook. Honey, her granddaughter from her eldest son lived far away from her. But, whenever Honey visits her for Christmas and summer vacation, she makes sure to cook her favorite tinumis. Honey doesn’t need to ask for it, Mami Pearl just knows by heart that it is the best way to welcome her home.

As the years passed, she sacrificed a lot of things. Taking care of her husband was the number one priority, and among a lot of things, herself is the last thing she prioritizes. Even if she is sick, the first thing that comes to her mind is Daboy. She eventually got the hang of it. It became her routine. Her life. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, and caregiver of Daboy. But that changed recently. On October 5th, 2023, Daboy joined the creator.

All of a sudden, the life she knows is gone.

So what now? How is she going to spend her day without Daboy? Without no one to take care of? As sad as it seems, the passing of her husband became a motivation for her and for her family.

A motivation to take care of herself. A motivation to finally prioritize herself among others. As for her family, a motivation to be her strength as she goes through the pain of losing the love of her life. An opportunity to finally give back for everything she sacrificed for them.

They know, that in the sea of clouds, in the heaven above, Daboy is smiling as her lovely wife lives her life with peace and love. He is probably smiling and saying “Iba mag alaga si Perla”. (Millene Jewel Martiniano)