Raising Godly Kids

While browsing for a book to read on my personal collections of books, I found some notes inserted in one of my books. It is about the parenting seminar I’ve attended conducted by Dr. Harold J. Sala entitled Raising Godly Kids in Ungodly World sometime in year 2004. At that time I am a struggling working mom with a five year old and a two year old kid. Allow me to share with you some insights I learned from the said seminar which I found very useful until this time.

According to Dr. Sala, there are three phases of parenting. These are the formative years (0-6 years old), middle age (7-12 years old) and the teen years (13-25 years old).

The first phase which is the formative years of a child is dubbed by most psychologists as the age of regulation. Said phase are the very foundation of what the child might become 20 years from the time a child is born. At this age, a child needs love, consistency and acceptance. We parents teach our children in three ways. First, and perhaps the most basic, is by our example; second, we teach by attitudes, which develop emotional responses in our children; third is by our words. A parent is a child’s first and most important teacher who molds attitudes, habits and thoughts of a child. You’ll see why God backs us up at this phase with His wise command to “Train up a child in the way he should go…” with the promise that when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).”

The second phase which is the middle age is the age of imitation. Children are the greatest imitators. Many parents seem oblivious to the fact that their example is the greatest force that molds an offspring into the parents own likeness. Little things that we take for granted like reckless driving, overtaking, lying, gossiping, and stealing affect the outlook of our children. The attitude that says it’s okay to do it as long as nobody gets hurt has wiped out the line between right and wrong. Society and its moral standards are being looked up by our children. At this stage children may imitate icons like movie stars and we let them sing and dance like a certain artist and we led them to believe that it’s okay. The end result is that we are encouraging a generation of men and women to behave almost like animals having no clear defined values. The by-product of which are often anger, distrust and over indulgence. Is there any hope for tomorrow? That, of course depends on what happens in the home. As parents, we have to teach by example. Caution: attitudes are contagious. Attitudes are those intangible guides that shape the character and conduct of our children, and one of the disarming things about our attitudes is that we can’t fake them.

The teen years are the age of exploration and inspiration. A youth becomes a teenager one day at a time. The normal pattern is for the process of communication and sharing in our lives one day at a time to continue throughout life. Stay close to a teen by spending time with that youngster. If you have invested more time with your kids during the formative and middle years, then you’ll see that you’re not going to have a problem at this stage. What is important is your availability to guide them in this crucial stage of their life. At this point, children need models to inspire them. May you be able to introduce them to models that are worth emulating.

Furthermore, Dr. Sala pointed out that there are three (3) forces which are influencing our children. These are the (1) the media, such as print, broadcast and the internet, if we allow it, it will then dictate how our children’s lives will be lived. Second (2) are the absentee parents or parents who are not present or involved in the lives of their children. The absence of parents may lead children to be on their own on which they can be influenced by media and their peers on the wrong way. And third (3) is the social pressures of their peers which will led children to do things that are inappropriate like succumbing to vices like smoking or taking prohibited drugs.

We can fight back the forces that are influencing our children by doing the following: Strive to be there for your children. Help your child understand that there are evils in our world. Emphasize the importance of having courage to abide by your convictions. Give love no matter what they do. Know where to draw the line. Decide that yours will be a Godly home. This means a close relationship with God. Provide for their spiritual growth by getting into a church family. And lastly, live what you preach.

Lastly, Dr. Sala raised the question on how do we raise a kid so strong that he won’t need you when you aren’t there? He said that the family that is close to one another is the most important factor in a child’s life. When the child know that they are really loved and will be accepted regardless of what happens, it gives them the stability, making it much easier for the children to stand on their own and dare to be themselves. Dr. Sala emphasized that the goal of Mom and Dad should be to help the kids grow so strong that even when you aren’t there they won’t need you to make responsible decisions. This can only be done through patient guidance, discipline and unconditional love.

I hope you find the above insights useful. Dr. Sala is an author, counselor, Bible teacher and conference speaker. He heads Guidelines Inc., an international Christian counseling ministry based in Laguna Niguel, California, USA.

Now that I am a mother of two teenagers, I can say that I don’t have much problem with them. Together with my late husband I believe we were able to find the time regardless of our busy schedule to guide them in their formative and middle age years. By God’s grace it is my prayer that I will be able to lead them in the right path in their teen years. It is also my desire that we parents would be able to raise Godly kids in world full of ungodly things and persons. Let us always pray for the welfare of our children and do our part in making them to be the kind of children God wants them to be. May we entrust our children’s future to God through the intercession of Mama Mary. May we dwell on God’s promise for us and for our children in Jeremiah 29:11 that says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Bing Orbeta-Robles)