Middle Child

Dear KNOT,

Ako si Tara.

Gitna sa 5 magkakapatid. I am now working in a call center, though I graduated from nursing. Malayo di ba? Nurse din kase ang 2 kong ate na sinundan ko at ang pang apat sa amin. Sabi nila mama at papa, ‘yun nalang daw ang kunin kong kurso para “hand me down” ang lahat ng books, uniform, at iba pang kailangan ko sa school. Krisis yun para sa akin. Communication kase ang gusto ko na kurso. Tinapos ko ang kurso bilang respeto sa kanila. Pero sure ako, I wasn’t really happy. Thank God for the gift of intelligence. Sadly, di ko talaga napractice ang nursing sa hospital, maybe sa ibang medical missions.

As the middle child, na-develop sa akin ang insecurities. Close kase ang una at pangalawa; magkasundo din ang pang apat at bunso. Outgoing sila. Ako naman, okay lang kahit magkulong sa kwarto. Pag may outing, inuutusan lang din akong sumabay. Ayoko ng social life at di ko maintindihan ito. I have been proving a lot to my family, pero laging failure, eh.

May misteryo bang bumabalot sa pagiging middle child?

Salamat,

Tara

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Dear Tara,

You seem to be such an obedient daughter that you gave in to your parents’ desire for you to become a nurse. In the end, it was not practiced. But I am sure what you’ve learned along that field will stay with you and it may be used if not now maybe later in your life.

There are two sides of the coin for a middle child. One side is where your reality is. The tendency to be submissive, “unseen” or reserved and insecure. On the other side of the coin is a middle child who tends to be assertive or aggressive or competitive because he needs to be seen, felt, and be counted.

In your case, perhaps, your temperament and personality have something to do with how you behave or perceive yourself, aside from being a middle child. It’s okay to prefer being alone or be reserved. This is part and parcel of individual differences. What is important is that you are happy being what you are. Try to find out the giftedness as well as shortcomings of your personality. Enhance your giftedness and improve on your shortcomings so that these will turn into giftedness. There are a lot of self-help books you can read to enrich your self-knowledge.

It is worthwhile to determine what were those things you were trying to prove to your family and what made you think these were failures.

Yes, there are mysteries in one’s life, regardless of which position you are in the family.

God bless you as you discover more mysteries in your life…for sure you will come to appreciate and love yourself more. – Cheng and Emily

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