Family Tissues

We often are aware and accept life’s countless share of difficulties and trials. To these, we simply shrug our shoulders and say, ‘That’s life! There isn’t much that we can really do about it!’

But our tone and attitude change when these burdens and challenges hit us head on. Then it becomes, ‘Why me!!!?’ or ‘Why us, Lord!!!?” These are the complaints of many in emergency rooms, funeral homes, children or parent rifts, business bankruptcy and more.

The problem of why God allows bad things to happen is a mystery that been around since Adam and Eve. It is only when God Himself, through our Lord, takes upon our sufferings and dies upon the Cross in order to redeem us that darkness of human problems and ordeals is gradually dispelled by the light of the Cross.

Still, this does not prevent us –human as God knows we are– from airing our grievances to the heavens: asking for deliverance, protection, good health and more. And often the answer to what our limited human perception seeks, is returned with a deep silence.

Perhaps, amongst these trials, family issues are the most difficult to understand, accept and solve. Financial setbacks will somehow be resolved, the cycle of life ending with death is something we cannot change and other similar realities. On the other hand, an unfaithful spouse, a wayward son or daughter, a relative who maligns us, etc. these belong to a different trial category.

How are we to embrace and accept family problems so that they may be for us forging realities for our human character and spiritual growth?

The path is marked out for us by the examples of Jesus, Mary and Joseph may afford some insights. I believe meditating on their lives –during and even after our ordeals–, may help us hurdle trials with graceful serenity and joy!

The life of the Holy Family can be grouped into three enlightening episodes: Mary and Joseph’s betrothal-calling, the Jesus’ Birth and the Jesus lost and found in the Temple. Here are some points to draw from them.

On Spousal issues: A man and a woman do not sign up for marriage. They are called (a vocation) by God to Himself through someone. Answer their callings, Mary and Joseph, experienced many difficulties in order to faithfully do God’s will. (Cf. Mt. 9:27-31; Lk. 1:26-38)

Parents who experience marriage difficulties must realize that in order to sincerely address their misunderstandings, must first face whatever inner conflict they may have with God. These are not necessarily sinful issues, it may be that one is forgetting to love and serve the one’s spouse more. If like Mary and Joseph, each spouse tackles how God wants to transform them, then their sincere conversion will in turn help them to engage difficult marital concerns.

On Material issues: The birth of Jesus is enormously embraced by poverty and humility. Mary and Joseph found themselves with literally no human means to provide for the greatest gift of God to humanity. And yet, the absence of such material security was overwhelmed by the securing presence of Grace in Jesus. (Cf. Mt. 1:18-25; Lk. 2:1-7)

Material needs (e.g. daily sustenance, material maintenance, children’s education, etc.) will always be an important issue. But parents, seeing the example of Mary and Joseph, ought to learn how not to be too attached to material wants that can easily distract them from the real needs of the family. Sometimes, these needs do not require any monetary expense since they come in one’s presence, affection, gratitude and forgiveness. These valuable immaterial realities are what Bethlehem teaches us constantly.

On Children issues: The growth and develop of children will always have challenges. Even Mary and Joseph experienced this even though the Child’s being lost was not out of Jesus’ disobedience or his parent’s neglect. It is a portrait revealing that we must learn to see our children’s imperfections as a space for affection, patience, fortitude and forgiveness. (Cf. Lk. 2:41-50)

There are no perfect children, thus, a parent’s role will never end. They are always there, not as stage parents, as human and spiritual supports for their children. They continue to be moral standards that ought to help any wayward son or daughter to never lose hope if they ever find themselves lost in the tempests of the world’s hedonistic seas.

The lives of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, will always be a beacon of hope, peace and joy for any parent confronts the many issues of his family, as it journeys towards the heavenly home.