Happiness is a Choice

Are you happy? In this time of the pandemic, this question may sound irrelevant. Can we still be happy at this time?

Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of “happy” is a little more helpful: It is a “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.” From this definition, PositivePsychology.com gives us a few important points about happiness:

“Happiness is a state, not a trait; in other words, it isn’t a long-lasting, permanent feature or personality trait, but a more fleeting, changeable state. Happiness is equated with feeling pleasure or contentment, meaning that happiness is not to be confused with joy, ecstasy, bliss, or other more intense feelings. Happiness can be either feeling or showing, meaning that happiness is not necessarily an internal or external experience, but can be both.”

It was the first Friday of September and I was looking for an interesting topic for my future column. On that day, I joined the Sambuhay online mass in Youtube with Fr. Jesus Gozun, SSP as the celebrant and homilist. Listening to his homily, I told myself, “This is it!”

And in my column this week, I would like to borrow some of his thoughts on “why are we not happy in life?” and reflect on his three points.

The first path to unhappiness is when we are always complaining. I know of some people who make complaining a habit. It is as if they cannot see anything positive on a thing or in a situation. Name it – slow internet, the hair style of a person, the long homily of priests, among others. When you do not do anything in your life but complain, do not expect to be happy. The secret to happiness in life lies in our positive outlook. There is always a positive side in something no matter how bad it is. The challenge for us is to look for that silver lining in the dark cloud and gaze on the light at the end of the tunnel.

The second way to being unhappy is when we cannot accept new things. Life is always changing. The world revolves and according to the book of Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Walang forever! When we hold on to what we are familiar and comfortable with, we become frustrated. Life is full of surprises and sometimes, these are God’s surprises. Always leave a space for the grace of God to work in our lives.

The third means to sure sadness is when we keep on bursting. Stress is very much a part of our lives. We need to cope with life’s stressors for us to survive. If we do not know how to handle pressure, we might just end up bursting. Do not be too soft. You might not handle the weight of life. Do not be too hard or you become fragile and break up easily. We need to be stretchable like the rubber band. We ought to go where life leads us.

There are many ways to be happy, but Fr. Gozun of the Society of St. Paul taught me three ways not to be unhappy. To be happy or not, it is our choice.

Blessings to all!