Legal Separation (Part 1)

I was an RTC Judge from 1985 to 2006. For me the most agonizing cases were for legal separation. You can and feel the anger, despair, sadness and arrogance. I feel bad when the children in a legal separation case are in court to testify or to get the sympathy of the court. It is the eyes of the children calling for help, expressions of bewilderment and numbness that gets you. I always ask why must children suffer for the misdeeds mainly of the fathers. This is a difficult issue more so if the children are still in kinder, grade one, etc.

Filing a legal separation case or accepting that your spouse wants it, hurts mentally, morally and financially. The government is neutral/amoral/does not care. It created the legal separation law. You may or may not use it. The state is more focused on the governance of 110 million Filipinos. The church concentrates on the well-being/spirituality of each 110 million Filipinos and of all the families. In the New Testament, Jesus said what God has created and united, man must not separate. This is the foundation of the church’s approach to marriage. (St. Matthew 19:3-9) It goes out of its way to save the marriage. It is a win case if the spouses are reunited and the case dropped. If legal separation is granted all sides lose. The saddest part is that it deeply affects the lives of the children. They have to adjust to a life without a father or with a new father stranger.

The church is the only institution that journeys together with family from the time the couple are married until death do us part. It is clearly in favor of preserving and protecting the family. The church offers counseling for shaky marriages through priests and sisters with specialized training on family problems and through different groups like the Opus Dei, Family Life Apostolate, Parochial Offices. The world becomes sadder not only when a person dies, or when there is war, famines, disasters, but also when a family breaks up.

Religiosity must be a part of the Family’s life. The spiritual tools used are simple but the family will last forever if used every day. 1. Fr. Peyton’s reminder. The Family that prays together stays together. Papa, Mama and the children pray the rosary every night. 2. The Family attends mass every Sundays and holidays of obligation (Holy week, Christmas, Fiesta Novena, Flores de Mayo, processions, etc.) 3. Papa and mama join and participate in the activities of GKK, DMI, EMC, KOC, etc. 4. Attending the weekly kasaulogan GKK allows the parents to have spiritual bonding with neighbors. You get understanding, support and religious encouragement in the GKK. Papa and Mama begin their new life after marriage.

The family is a boat which starts a long journey with heaven as its destination. Before the boat (Family) completes its trip, it will encounter bad weather, giant waves, typhoons, sometimes the boat drifts aimlessly, but if Papa and Mama maglahutay, they will reach heaven.